Hope everyone finds this as enjoyable as I have. Some of it was just too good to keep to myself any longer.
Who's up for the Oxford Experience in 30 years?
I'll talk to everybody very soon. I'm so glad that, even over a year later, we still have quite a bit of Blue Boar business to discuss.
Love,
Matt
Viva La Blue Boar!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Oxford, Day 24. July 21st. Our Last Day
Leaving Oxford was so hard. Everyone seemed a little out of it, not quite ready to accept the end. Like a kid on Christmas morning, I happily noticed that Cliff had found his package of goodies. He was giving out hugs and final parting pearls of kindness and wisdom as people sorrowfully started marching out of Blue Boar Building #1. It honestly felt like he was going to miss all of us - he even gave the group a book about Oxford. I was not ready to go yet, but there was nothing I could do but take each stubbornly slow setp down the stairs, my monstrous suitcase thumping dully with each one, and step through the door into the morning air. I walked through Tom Quad one last time before handing in my room key. (I was so happy that they let me keep my name tag!.....sorry, Kelly.) Christ Church really did feel like a home to me, and I couldn't tell you exactly why. I lived in California for 3 1/2 years and felt less attached to it than I did to Christ Church. There was just so much history; maybe the dust in the air does something to you, but I felt inspired and creative, grateful, hopeful, friendly and happy all in a very intense, different way than I had ever experienced. I'll miss it very much, but I know I have some pretty fantastic memories to cling onto.
Oxford, Day 23. The Bear and Boar Society
"Hey, Joey! I want a calZONE!"
"Hey! Tony! Let's be REALLY LOUD!"
"You must not ah-kwiz-zice." -Matt (quoting Churchill?)
We WERE going to try to see all of the other colleges and the rest of what we hadn't yet done at Oxford, but God wasn't having it. It stopped pouring around 8PM, but that didn't stop us from going out for that last plate of greasy pub food for lunch.
Last dinner at Oxford was in a really nice, private little banquet room. I ate my meal with 170 year old silverware and got the feeling that lots of important people had done the same. It was kind of quiet and I could tell that it was starting to hit people that our time was just about up. It hit me hardest when I saw Dean's room completely packed up and cleaned, our 5 teacups placed nicely on his desk.
We all went out for one last drink at The Bear and then came back and I smashed most of my crap into my suitcase, with Marina coming in periodically to bite off little pieces of my soul. We watched a last Office in Andy's room and drank the last of the beers. Dean and I killed the Scotch with a toast to Blue Boars past and the many Blue Boars to come.
Before bed, I found the bottle looking sad and empty. I asked Dean to give it a proper burial with me. That idea somehow turned into all of us writing up a document listing the founding members of the Bear & Boar Society and stuffing said document (which was eloquently drawn up by Dean, who dabbled in calligraphy...another facet!) into the bottle, and finally tucking the bottle inside the wall between mine and Andy's rooms.
(There was one piece of paneling that wasn't screwed down at the bottom. We didn't cause any damage and I actually got the feeling that that our actions were expected from us. The porters probably have a whole collection of empty, sacred bottles from lame, starry-eyed college kids.)
It was even kind of sad when Matt came in to say his goodbyes. Things were still far from relaxed around him, and none of us are by any means all that crazy about him, but his starting the farewell process just got me feeling down and nostalgic. I really can't imagine having that much fun with any other group of (4 weeks previously) complete strangers. This is something that has changed who I am, and how I see the world and the people in it.
Even if there don't end up being as many Blue Boars in the future as we had all hoped for, here's to all of the great Blue Boars past.
"Hey! Tony! Let's be REALLY LOUD!"
"You must not ah-kwiz-zice." -Matt (quoting Churchill?)
We WERE going to try to see all of the other colleges and the rest of what we hadn't yet done at Oxford, but God wasn't having it. It stopped pouring around 8PM, but that didn't stop us from going out for that last plate of greasy pub food for lunch.
Last dinner at Oxford was in a really nice, private little banquet room. I ate my meal with 170 year old silverware and got the feeling that lots of important people had done the same. It was kind of quiet and I could tell that it was starting to hit people that our time was just about up. It hit me hardest when I saw Dean's room completely packed up and cleaned, our 5 teacups placed nicely on his desk.
We all went out for one last drink at The Bear and then came back and I smashed most of my crap into my suitcase, with Marina coming in periodically to bite off little pieces of my soul. We watched a last Office in Andy's room and drank the last of the beers. Dean and I killed the Scotch with a toast to Blue Boars past and the many Blue Boars to come.
Before bed, I found the bottle looking sad and empty. I asked Dean to give it a proper burial with me. That idea somehow turned into all of us writing up a document listing the founding members of the Bear & Boar Society and stuffing said document (which was eloquently drawn up by Dean, who dabbled in calligraphy...another facet!) into the bottle, and finally tucking the bottle inside the wall between mine and Andy's rooms.
(There was one piece of paneling that wasn't screwed down at the bottom. We didn't cause any damage and I actually got the feeling that that our actions were expected from us. The porters probably have a whole collection of empty, sacred bottles from lame, starry-eyed college kids.)
It was even kind of sad when Matt came in to say his goodbyes. Things were still far from relaxed around him, and none of us are by any means all that crazy about him, but his starting the farewell process just got me feeling down and nostalgic. I really can't imagine having that much fun with any other group of (4 weeks previously) complete strangers. This is something that has changed who I am, and how I see the world and the people in it.
Even if there don't end up being as many Blue Boars in the future as we had all hoped for, here's to all of the great Blue Boars past.
Oxford, Day 22. Humpy Dumps
Got up crazy early for Portsmouth and the Isle of Wight. Many of the people who said they were going opted for the warmth of bed instead. Ended up with a good group all the same. We got into Portsmouth, saw Riley's lameass ship, and then hopped a ferry to the Isle of Wight.
The HMS Lord Nelson actually was pretty cool. It was easy to imagine lots of stumpy, filthy piratemen stumbling around on the swaying ship, trying not to hit their heads on the low ceiling or bump into Lord Nelson in his crib.
The Isle of Wight was a really great place to see. We weren't there very long and the day did end up causing us some trouble and stress, but it was great to see the channel and play some mutha-effing DISC. I also had a Guinness which was fantastic.
Ended up finding that our planned ferry back didn't exist and having our perfectly laid plans turn to shit. We caught a ghost train to Reading and got back to Oxford as dinner was starting. A cab ride and a 1/2 mile sprint later and we were enjoying our (last) first course in the Great Hall. We even beat Marina there. Apparently, the classical philosophers never put much thought into timeliness.
After dinner we went to a cheesy Latino-Polish-80s bar for drinks. Afterwards back to Dean's room where I manned the music helm and got in a heated argument with Riley and Kelly (can't remember about what, now...) Went to Andy's room for some OK Computer before bed. Excellent.
The HMS Lord Nelson actually was pretty cool. It was easy to imagine lots of stumpy, filthy piratemen stumbling around on the swaying ship, trying not to hit their heads on the low ceiling or bump into Lord Nelson in his crib.
The Isle of Wight was a really great place to see. We weren't there very long and the day did end up causing us some trouble and stress, but it was great to see the channel and play some mutha-effing DISC. I also had a Guinness which was fantastic.
Ended up finding that our planned ferry back didn't exist and having our perfectly laid plans turn to shit. We caught a ghost train to Reading and got back to Oxford as dinner was starting. A cab ride and a 1/2 mile sprint later and we were enjoying our (last) first course in the Great Hall. We even beat Marina there. Apparently, the classical philosophers never put much thought into timeliness.
After dinner we went to a cheesy Latino-Polish-80s bar for drinks. Afterwards back to Dean's room where I manned the music helm and got in a heated argument with Riley and Kelly (can't remember about what, now...) Went to Andy's room for some OK Computer before bed. Excellent.
Oxford, Day 21. Remembering
(This one's kind of heavy, guys. Apologies in advance.)
Kelly was good enough to wake me in time for tea. Actual tea, not "tea." Watched some terrible British television, went grocery shopping, and watched some more terrible British television.
Prof. Gaines's lecture was interesting. He talked about the great complexity of elections and how who wins can depend hugely on the electoral process itself (with some Lewis Carroll tie-ins to boot). He's a real smart guy - Lewis Carroll, not Professor Gaines.
I went up Saxon Tower (finally) by myself. It was only like £1 and I was able to deal with my fears of falling to a bone-crunching death with the help of the breathtaking view. You could see the city a lot better than I expected. (From the ground, the tower doesn't look very tall.) I putzed around with my camera for about 15 minutes trying to capture the whole panorama as best I could. It was extremely windy up there and my knees never really stopped shaking. (Now I'm just making excuses.)
Also! I forgot to mention the first of my boyish curiosities that tempted 20p out of me on my way up the tower. There was a really cool old gear system that used to control the bells which still kind of works. If you put 20p into the coin slot the gears would start turning and eventually the bells would ring in succession. There were lots of crazy-spinning metal arms and I thought it was all awesome despite its shutting down and sputtering on and off numerous times.
After a slow descent from the top of the tower, with each careful step down adding a bit of reassurance, I decided to look around the part of the building that was used as a church. There was some great stained glass and it seemed like a pretty cool place to worship if you were into that sort of thing.
I am by no means a very religious person. I really do believe there is some connecting force that makes life worthwhile and gives people the dynamics we all have, but I don't go to church or give any of the ideology much thought. The religious right and World History have made me somewhat of a skeptic. (Imagine that.) I know I'm a good person with the right intentions and a lot of love in my heart; and I know I'm very lucky because I can stand on my own and get by without the same type of blind faith. I've found that religion can really only take hold of the people who need it for some particular reason. They're looking for an answer to a question they can't answer, for meaning, for gratification, or just because life can be so hard and unfair and sad that they feel they need to find out why from God, himself.
I've gotten onto this longwinded track because there really was something about being alone in that place that made it seem almost supernatural. I noticed the large, perfect organ pipes along the wall and then, immediately after, a rack holding a few small, flickering candles. I threw 20p in the slot and lit 2 candles of my own.
One candle was for Sarah's mom. The past. The family I've known, the family I've missed, the friends I've lost touch with, and all of the other things that I can do nothing to change. And the other is for me - my future. Sarah, who I love and hope every day can find some explanation or understanding for why this happened to her that can really allow for things to get better. For my family- the long happy lives I wish for my parents, my sister, my aunts and uncles and cousins, and my friends - all of whom I take for granted far too often. It's for hope and for inspiration, for all of the things I'd love to do and the places I'd love to see. For the privilege of having a thousand great memories to look back at (when I'm 40, on my deathbed).
When I'm feeling uncertain or inadequate or simply terrified about growing up I hope I'll be able to read these words and feel an inkling of the way I felt lighting those candles. I left the church with the image of 2 fresh flames burning strong and bright, and I know I'll be going back home soon without having seen that those flames have waned and died. I hope that these words can keep that image fresh and those candles burning closely beneath my ass.
No more writing. There's fun to be had.
Kelly was good enough to wake me in time for tea. Actual tea, not "tea." Watched some terrible British television, went grocery shopping, and watched some more terrible British television.
Prof. Gaines's lecture was interesting. He talked about the great complexity of elections and how who wins can depend hugely on the electoral process itself (with some Lewis Carroll tie-ins to boot). He's a real smart guy - Lewis Carroll, not Professor Gaines.
I went up Saxon Tower (finally) by myself. It was only like £1 and I was able to deal with my fears of falling to a bone-crunching death with the help of the breathtaking view. You could see the city a lot better than I expected. (From the ground, the tower doesn't look very tall.) I putzed around with my camera for about 15 minutes trying to capture the whole panorama as best I could. It was extremely windy up there and my knees never really stopped shaking. (Now I'm just making excuses.)
Also! I forgot to mention the first of my boyish curiosities that tempted 20p out of me on my way up the tower. There was a really cool old gear system that used to control the bells which still kind of works. If you put 20p into the coin slot the gears would start turning and eventually the bells would ring in succession. There were lots of crazy-spinning metal arms and I thought it was all awesome despite its shutting down and sputtering on and off numerous times.
After a slow descent from the top of the tower, with each careful step down adding a bit of reassurance, I decided to look around the part of the building that was used as a church. There was some great stained glass and it seemed like a pretty cool place to worship if you were into that sort of thing.
I am by no means a very religious person. I really do believe there is some connecting force that makes life worthwhile and gives people the dynamics we all have, but I don't go to church or give any of the ideology much thought. The religious right and World History have made me somewhat of a skeptic. (Imagine that.) I know I'm a good person with the right intentions and a lot of love in my heart; and I know I'm very lucky because I can stand on my own and get by without the same type of blind faith. I've found that religion can really only take hold of the people who need it for some particular reason. They're looking for an answer to a question they can't answer, for meaning, for gratification, or just because life can be so hard and unfair and sad that they feel they need to find out why from God, himself.
I've gotten onto this longwinded track because there really was something about being alone in that place that made it seem almost supernatural. I noticed the large, perfect organ pipes along the wall and then, immediately after, a rack holding a few small, flickering candles. I threw 20p in the slot and lit 2 candles of my own.
One candle was for Sarah's mom. The past. The family I've known, the family I've missed, the friends I've lost touch with, and all of the other things that I can do nothing to change. And the other is for me - my future. Sarah, who I love and hope every day can find some explanation or understanding for why this happened to her that can really allow for things to get better. For my family- the long happy lives I wish for my parents, my sister, my aunts and uncles and cousins, and my friends - all of whom I take for granted far too often. It's for hope and for inspiration, for all of the things I'd love to do and the places I'd love to see. For the privilege of having a thousand great memories to look back at (when I'm 40, on my deathbed).
When I'm feeling uncertain or inadequate or simply terrified about growing up I hope I'll be able to read these words and feel an inkling of the way I felt lighting those candles. I left the church with the image of 2 fresh flames burning strong and bright, and I know I'll be going back home soon without having seen that those flames have waned and died. I hope that these words can keep that image fresh and those candles burning closely beneath my ass.
No more writing. There's fun to be had.
Oxford, Day 20. The Lord Nelson
Today was Cardiff. I was very proud of us, all were up in time except for Marina who "chose" not to go (little did she know she would be missing the semi-annual Cardiff Dairy Festival). The train ride seemed like nothing thanks to my diving into Fever Pitch.
We went on a tour of Cardiff Castle and then ate in a little Welsh pub that had great food and BRAINS beers (including one called Skull Attack that tasted like strong wine mixed with Carling) which only played those songs from the 70s and 80s that I imagine are now only used to make being on hold with your phone company all the more excruciating. Nevertheless, Dean knew most of the words (and piano fills). Just another facet.
We walked around some government buildings and parks and then went to check out Cardiff Bay (on the advice of a kind old lady I met walking out of the castle tour). Cardiff was a very interesting little city, with what seemed like a zillion different cultures all coexisting. Lots of interesting architecture. In ten years or so a lot of the big construction projects will hopefully be done and the city will be an even better place to visit.
After the train ride back we made our way over to The Bear for Quiz Night. We ordered some drinks and were all (Me, Sarah, Dean, Riley, Kelly, Andy) happy to see Prof. Gaines show up to captain our team. Sadly, quiz night was not in the cards due to alleged lack of attendance but we had some good conversation just the same. After Professor Gaines left we started to punish Riley for turning 20 that day. By the time Sarah ordered him a mystery shot he had 4 pints in him. A little while later, I asked the bartender to make Riley the most terrible thing he could think up.
The Lord Nelson
-2 Shots Bombay Sapphire
-2 Shots Pimms
-1 Shot Bell's
-1/2 Pint Carling
-3 Ice Cubes
-Lemon, Lime, and Orange Wedges (1 each)
-Trafalgar Drinking Straw
Stir to perfection
£7.50
>$15
Riley fought through it and enjoyed the Bday card Sarah and I picked out (which called him a "knob jockey"... fittingly).
After The Bear we went back and played some Blue Boar and got some Posh Nosh... something we had been doing quite a lot of.
After Posh Nosh, Riley went up to his room, saying he would "be right back down." Ten minutes later he had locked himself in his room and choked to death on his own vomit for all we knew. To be honest, no one was all that concerned about it.
We went on a tour of Cardiff Castle and then ate in a little Welsh pub that had great food and BRAINS beers (including one called Skull Attack that tasted like strong wine mixed with Carling) which only played those songs from the 70s and 80s that I imagine are now only used to make being on hold with your phone company all the more excruciating. Nevertheless, Dean knew most of the words (and piano fills). Just another facet.
We walked around some government buildings and parks and then went to check out Cardiff Bay (on the advice of a kind old lady I met walking out of the castle tour). Cardiff was a very interesting little city, with what seemed like a zillion different cultures all coexisting. Lots of interesting architecture. In ten years or so a lot of the big construction projects will hopefully be done and the city will be an even better place to visit.
After the train ride back we made our way over to The Bear for Quiz Night. We ordered some drinks and were all (Me, Sarah, Dean, Riley, Kelly, Andy) happy to see Prof. Gaines show up to captain our team. Sadly, quiz night was not in the cards due to alleged lack of attendance but we had some good conversation just the same. After Professor Gaines left we started to punish Riley for turning 20 that day. By the time Sarah ordered him a mystery shot he had 4 pints in him. A little while later, I asked the bartender to make Riley the most terrible thing he could think up.
The Lord Nelson
-2 Shots Bombay Sapphire
-2 Shots Pimms
-1 Shot Bell's
-1/2 Pint Carling
-3 Ice Cubes
-Lemon, Lime, and Orange Wedges (1 each)
-Trafalgar Drinking Straw
Stir to perfection
£7.50
>$15
Riley fought through it and enjoyed the Bday card Sarah and I picked out (which called him a "knob jockey"... fittingly).
After The Bear we went back and played some Blue Boar and got some Posh Nosh... something we had been doing quite a lot of.
After Posh Nosh, Riley went up to his room, saying he would "be right back down." Ten minutes later he had locked himself in his room and choked to death on his own vomit for all we knew. To be honest, no one was all that concerned about it.
Oxford, Day 19. Masters Cork
Got up at a decent time with hopes of playing some croquet in the Master's Garden. Sarah and I ate lunch on the quad after some difficulty getting the garden gate unlocked, but we were all eventually allowed in. Dean found a cork amongst the leftover bottles from the wedding reception that was held there the previous night. (I'm pretty sure he also swiped about a gallon of ludicrously expensive water.) We threw the cork around for a while and enjoyed the softness of the grass on our worn feet.
Sarah and I went to the Ashmolean Museum afterwards and saw some really cool stuff, such as:
-5 rooms stuffed with Egyptian artifacts and statues
-1 Stradivarius violin
-Numerous other old and cool stringed instruments
-Some modern-artsy paintings
-Expensive looking silverware and decorative plates
Did a little shopping afterwards and got back for dinner.
Oxford, Day 18. Blue Boar
Got up earlier than usual (on a Saturday) and went to the Arsenal game with Andy, Riley, and Dr. Greco. We passed Emirates on the train, which made the "stadium" the game was held at seem even smaller. The announcer said there were just over 5,000 people at the sold out game.
Arsenal kicked some ass despite pisspoor refereeing and a mostly 2nd and 3rd string lineup. We did get to see Van Persie, Theo Walcott, Toure, and several other notables play. It was very impressive to see and well worth the trip.
Dr. Greco left us from the stadium and we got back to the train station to search for food. We eventually found this great Italian place (Mamma...something) and had what I found to be one of the best dinner's I've had (and that's saying something because I've eaten like a grubby, filthy king this entire trip. Sarah keeps asking who my 'friend' is.)
When we got back Dean and the others taught us how to play Blue Boar. I chipped in my thoughts and Blue Boar 2.0 thus game into being.
Blue Boar is high-stakes drinking at its finest.
Arsenal kicked some ass despite pisspoor refereeing and a mostly 2nd and 3rd string lineup. We did get to see Van Persie, Theo Walcott, Toure, and several other notables play. It was very impressive to see and well worth the trip.
Dr. Greco left us from the stadium and we got back to the train station to search for food. We eventually found this great Italian place (Mamma...something) and had what I found to be one of the best dinner's I've had (and that's saying something because I've eaten like a grubby, filthy king this entire trip. Sarah keeps asking who my 'friend' is.)
When we got back Dean and the others taught us how to play Blue Boar. I chipped in my thoughts and Blue Boar 2.0 thus game into being.
Blue Boar is high-stakes drinking at its finest.
Oxford, Day 10-17 (Scene Missing)
I honestly have eight blank pages in a row because I was having too much fun.
Oxford, Day 9. Dean's Big Break
We found out that they were filming The Golden Compass around Christ Church and took it upon ourselves to hunt Nicole Kidman's scrawny ass down.
Tom Tower was lit up all prettylike and the main shopping street was watered and glistening. We never did find Nicole, but Dean walked on set during filming and wasn't asked to leave. They were filming some sort of mechanical cat, but apparently they were interested in where Dean was going with the scene. Ridiculous.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Oxford, Day 8. July 4th. Streetlights, people.
"This is silly. This kind of reminds me of my back yard."
"The map makes this place look a lot bigger than it is."
(British Catapultsman) - "What else can you launch out of a trebuchet?"
(Mob of British children) - "PEE-pohl!!"
J: Hey man, did you switch our rolls?
Me: No. I did not SWITCH our ROLLS.
J: (to no one in particular) Man, something just doesn't add up.
"Golf is hard."
"Haven't you ever been to a nice restaurant where you have to sneak in your own ketchup?"
"Flash. I need your help."
"Oohhhhhh say can you seeeEEee... (and so on)" - Drunken, patriotic mob
Today was the most bizarre day so far. Everyone was in rare form and I really regret waiting this long to write everything down. The lines that had been drawn in chalk were painted over today, and one of us is no longer in the running towards becoming America's next top Oxford student.
The group went to Warwick Castle in the morning. I had to run around a bit to get to the train station and got Sarah good and fire-eyed. She's like an angel. A few people decided to be wet, turdy blankets and immediately started bitching about how unimpressed they were with the MEDIEVAL CASTLE and how they didn't want to spend like 16 bucks to see it.
Dr. Greco accompanied Sarah, Dean, Riley, and myself to watch the world's biggest functioning trebuchet launch a big weight over the horizon. It was awesome, but it would have been cooler if they had used a person/animal to fling and if they didn't have to cock it with a tractor. Later on we all saw a birds of prey show (twice) and I got like 200 pictures of eagles and vultures and an owl. It was really cool.
Leaving Warwick, on the way back to the train station, I stopped to take some pictures only to find when I lifted my head up after what really seemed like 8 seconds later that my whole group was gone. I started walking (the wrong way) and eventually turned back and stood in front of the same church I had previously been taking pictures of. I still didn't see them anywhere. Finally, a kind soul gave me directions to the train station and I sprinted multiple blocks to find Sarah screaming that our relationship was over. A whistle blew and Andy stepped on the wrong train (but he did have some chips for the journey, compliments of Sarah). The doors closed and off he went.
We never saw Andy again.
Sarah and I then noticed Riley and the others waving at us from the opposite platform. We rushed over and Sarah got on the train to ask if it was the right train. I believe the guy said, "No. Well, perhaps." I went to check and found that it was indeed the correct train. But the doors closed in my face and I screamed at Sarah through the glass in a dramatic, classical black and white. Thankfully she was able to make out what I was saying. "You have my Britrail pass." The train left and it started raining.
It was kind of a pain in the ass getting back, but it definitely could have been worse. When we did get back, there was another surprise waiting.
Matt went golfing instead of to the castle because he "doesn't do ANYTHING on the 4th of July" as per tradition. I'm not sure how/if he actually finished 9 holes and it was even more surprising and terrible that he had made it to dinner. He greeted Riley by taking away his Red Portuguese Rose wine bottle and swinging it around his head. He was ridiculous drunk.
Dinner was catastrophic. Matt was tormenting Anne the whole time, much to the joy of the miscreants surrounding him. I think he offended her in just about every way you can offend a young, white, Catholic virgin with a long-term boyfriend. All the while, Leah was peeling the fat off of her ham and guiding difficult peas onto her fork, both with her BARE HANDS. After the meal was finished, she poured her glass of water over her lipid-soaked hands and washed up over the floor next to her chair. At one point, Matt began insulting Jesse and Jesse started fuming and assuring Leah that he "wasn't no punk bitch" and that he "didn't care how drunk Matt was." I had to tell him to chill out and not get into a shouting match/fist fight in the GREAT HALL. Jeremy sat there blankly with a full plate of food in front of him that Leah and some of the others picked at at will. Anne was near tears when Matt threw out a joke that tastefully blended two unlikely taboos with hilarious consequences - rape and crucifixion. The sane half of the group was silent and trying to hide most of the time. Dean and I must have looked at each other in horror at least a dozen times. After the group of shmucks finished eating and there was no one left to feed Matt's ego he got pretty quiet. He made one poor attempt to get the Asian waitress's name/number and then put his Hurly cap on crooked and stumbled out. The remaining 6 or 7 of us started panicking and thinking about what to do.
Later that night, a bunch of us had our own 4th of July celebration at a place that was like a cleaner, British CO's. The DJ seemed to be churning out the hits and the crowd was pretty into it. Some Indiana girls definitely got pregnant that night. £1 Budweisers were easy to drink and to pay for. We stood around talking and every once in a while Dean would make someone chug a beer. Sarah snuck off to do like 4 shots with the lesbian bartender. That's my girl, always using her goods to get what she wants. Every one of us tried to get the DJ to play Journey, and Riley even asked the Flash to help with our cause. No dice. "Summer of '69" was as close as we would get. We all left a wee bit tipsy. On the walk back, someone decided to start singing the national anthem. We all joined in, our veins pumping red, white, and blue alcohol-fused adrenaline. Passersby joined in, and at its peak our mob of drunken vocalists was definitely over 20. I even ran into some grad student that had gone to U of I. Small effing world, huh? Great end to a weird day. Lots of bonding, and some of the caricatures of human beings that somehow found this group were made even more absurd.
I know I'm forgetting some things.......
"The map makes this place look a lot bigger than it is."
(British Catapultsman) - "What else can you launch out of a trebuchet?"
(Mob of British children) - "PEE-pohl!!"
J: Hey man, did you switch our rolls?
Me: No. I did not SWITCH our ROLLS.
J: (to no one in particular) Man, something just doesn't add up.
"Golf is hard."
"Haven't you ever been to a nice restaurant where you have to sneak in your own ketchup?"
"Flash. I need your help."
"Oohhhhhh say can you seeeEEee... (and so on)" - Drunken, patriotic mob
Today was the most bizarre day so far. Everyone was in rare form and I really regret waiting this long to write everything down. The lines that had been drawn in chalk were painted over today, and one of us is no longer in the running towards becoming America's next top Oxford student.
The group went to Warwick Castle in the morning. I had to run around a bit to get to the train station and got Sarah good and fire-eyed. She's like an angel. A few people decided to be wet, turdy blankets and immediately started bitching about how unimpressed they were with the MEDIEVAL CASTLE and how they didn't want to spend like 16 bucks to see it.
Dr. Greco accompanied Sarah, Dean, Riley, and myself to watch the world's biggest functioning trebuchet launch a big weight over the horizon. It was awesome, but it would have been cooler if they had used a person/animal to fling and if they didn't have to cock it with a tractor. Later on we all saw a birds of prey show (twice) and I got like 200 pictures of eagles and vultures and an owl. It was really cool.
Leaving Warwick, on the way back to the train station, I stopped to take some pictures only to find when I lifted my head up after what really seemed like 8 seconds later that my whole group was gone. I started walking (the wrong way) and eventually turned back and stood in front of the same church I had previously been taking pictures of. I still didn't see them anywhere. Finally, a kind soul gave me directions to the train station and I sprinted multiple blocks to find Sarah screaming that our relationship was over. A whistle blew and Andy stepped on the wrong train (but he did have some chips for the journey, compliments of Sarah). The doors closed and off he went.
We never saw Andy again.
Sarah and I then noticed Riley and the others waving at us from the opposite platform. We rushed over and Sarah got on the train to ask if it was the right train. I believe the guy said, "No. Well, perhaps." I went to check and found that it was indeed the correct train. But the doors closed in my face and I screamed at Sarah through the glass in a dramatic, classical black and white. Thankfully she was able to make out what I was saying. "You have my Britrail pass." The train left and it started raining.
It was kind of a pain in the ass getting back, but it definitely could have been worse. When we did get back, there was another surprise waiting.
Matt went golfing instead of to the castle because he "doesn't do ANYTHING on the 4th of July" as per tradition. I'm not sure how/if he actually finished 9 holes and it was even more surprising and terrible that he had made it to dinner. He greeted Riley by taking away his Red Portuguese Rose wine bottle and swinging it around his head. He was ridiculous drunk.
Dinner was catastrophic. Matt was tormenting Anne the whole time, much to the joy of the miscreants surrounding him. I think he offended her in just about every way you can offend a young, white, Catholic virgin with a long-term boyfriend. All the while, Leah was peeling the fat off of her ham and guiding difficult peas onto her fork, both with her BARE HANDS. After the meal was finished, she poured her glass of water over her lipid-soaked hands and washed up over the floor next to her chair. At one point, Matt began insulting Jesse and Jesse started fuming and assuring Leah that he "wasn't no punk bitch" and that he "didn't care how drunk Matt was." I had to tell him to chill out and not get into a shouting match/fist fight in the GREAT HALL. Jeremy sat there blankly with a full plate of food in front of him that Leah and some of the others picked at at will. Anne was near tears when Matt threw out a joke that tastefully blended two unlikely taboos with hilarious consequences - rape and crucifixion. The sane half of the group was silent and trying to hide most of the time. Dean and I must have looked at each other in horror at least a dozen times. After the group of shmucks finished eating and there was no one left to feed Matt's ego he got pretty quiet. He made one poor attempt to get the Asian waitress's name/number and then put his Hurly cap on crooked and stumbled out. The remaining 6 or 7 of us started panicking and thinking about what to do.
Later that night, a bunch of us had our own 4th of July celebration at a place that was like a cleaner, British CO's. The DJ seemed to be churning out the hits and the crowd was pretty into it. Some Indiana girls definitely got pregnant that night. £1 Budweisers were easy to drink and to pay for. We stood around talking and every once in a while Dean would make someone chug a beer. Sarah snuck off to do like 4 shots with the lesbian bartender. That's my girl, always using her goods to get what she wants. Every one of us tried to get the DJ to play Journey, and Riley even asked the Flash to help with our cause. No dice. "Summer of '69" was as close as we would get. We all left a wee bit tipsy. On the walk back, someone decided to start singing the national anthem. We all joined in, our veins pumping red, white, and blue alcohol-fused adrenaline. Passersby joined in, and at its peak our mob of drunken vocalists was definitely over 20. I even ran into some grad student that had gone to U of I. Small effing world, huh? Great end to a weird day. Lots of bonding, and some of the caricatures of human beings that somehow found this group were made even more absurd.
I know I'm forgetting some things.......
Oxford, Day 7. "I Wanna EAT 'im!"
Slept in and woke up feeling completely recharged. Went for another walk with Dr. Greco and explored the area around Christ Church. There are some awesome grassy areas and gardens that I plan on getting acquainted with as soon as the sun decides to stay a while.
Went thrifting with Riley and bought a couple Hornby books.
Hung out with Matt and Andy afterwards. Fun times.
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"This sal-min tastes like fish."
"What's a cous-cous?"
Went thrifting with Riley and bought a couple Hornby books.
Hung out with Matt and Andy afterwards. Fun times.
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"This sal-min tastes like fish."
"What's a cous-cous?"
Oxford, July 2, Day 6 "These Pictures Don't Belong Here."
Dinner in the Great Hall is so effing cool. Also, the Alice in Wonderland Garden was probably the greatest thing ever.
London, Day 5. "3/10. See Me."
Saw some more old stuff England shouldn't have at the British Museum, then saw even more over at the British Library. Basically ever science and religion was represented in some magnificent way. There was a Guttenberg Bible, a Quran, miscellaneous Buddhist stuff, etc., some of Da Vinci's handwritten letters and drawings, a letter from Sir Isaac Newton , handwritten scores by Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven, and what looked like original lyrics pages to numerous Beatles songs. The Effing Magna Carta.
I could have wasted away the rest of my life in there.
Experienced Chinese-British Buffet afterwards. Not the best meal I've had thus far.
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"He's so multi-faceted."
London, Day 4. "Three Words. O. Ba. Ma."
V&A
Started the morning off with a visit to the Victoria and Albert museum down the street (thanks to a failed terrorist attack/bomb threat/whatever). We wandered around for a couple hours - saw the British fashion exhibit, lots of silver and metal works, and the biggest effing columns I've ever seen.
Emirates
Another surprise - got a call from Andy looking for someone to fill a second ticket for a tour of Arsenal's Emirates Stadium. I was happy to oblige. Left shopping (after a frustrating but DELICIOUS meal in a French cafe - with Doritos!) and booked it to the tube stop. Emirates was very impressive and I learned a lot about the club. Very interesting stuff. The whole tour was great - the guide was very funny and wished bodily harm on many of Arsenal's rivals throughout the hourlong tour. Got back in time for Thai which was fantastic.
University Pub
We were about to call it a night, but there was a ridiculous, drunken highschool dance taking place in the pub across the courtyard and we had to check it out. Finally got myself a Guinness and shared in some pretty intense debate. I'm a big fan of some of the people in the group, and I'm excited to have a few more (hopefully less stressful) weeks in Oxford to get to know them better. Andy is kind of a football nut, and definitely a crazed, frothing liberal. Needless to say, I have a bit of a crush on him. (Let's hope this is never read aloud in court.) Matt's a bit smarter than I would have given him credit for at first. And even though he looked like a total loon pounding on the table, talking with spit hanging off his lips and swearing a great deal, he definitely had a lot to contribute. He's good at rattling people up and even though he's kind of an asshole I don't really mind being around him. Riley's a really smart guy with a great sense of humor. He's the type of person who really seems to have the potential to do something great. He's achieved a lot already, and he's an inspiring guy to be around. The night basically ended with Matt half-joking about sodomizing some highschool girls and him, Riley, and me all agreeing to close whatever nonsensical debate had started hours before. I'm really excited about being here. I miss home and all, but I feel like I'm learning and growing as a person more and more every day.
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